Random occurrences of silliness
by c-wolf
Summary: Be scared, or laugh yourself silly, I couldn't apply any of these to the flu series, the things that unnerve series, etc. Just random thoughts.
1. Default Chapter

The X-men looked at the Acoloytes. They returned the look. Both sides got ready to fight. Then paused as they heard Logan yell over "Hey Sabretooth, did you bring the chessboard?" Sabretooth took it out, and they went off to the side to play.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Kitty was walking by the professors office, when she heard something weird. Opening the door, she saw the professor staring at himself in the mirror. He was singing "I'm too sexy for my self"  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Bobby's powers were perfected. His memory however....  
  
Kurt heard a scream from outside. He teleported out. What he saw made him double up in laughter. Bobby had decided to test his ice skills out, by creating an ice rink complete with ramps and tight twisting turns, in the pool. It looked sort of like a roller coaster. However, he had forgotten his ice sculpture idea he had worked on earlier. Professor Xavier had rolled out, and through one of those weird quirks of fate, skidded on the puddle left over from the sculpture after it melted, and went straight into the rink. He was zipping around, screaming all the way.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Bobby walked into the kitchen, Beast popped out of the trashcan, covered in green paint. Bobby screamed and ran into the wall behind him knocking himself out. Beast scratched his head in puzzlement and said "I thought he liked Oscar the Grouch."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Pietro snuck into the mansion, however he was discovered. Now he was running out of the mansion with an angry Canadian chasing him. Trying to keep an eye on Wolverine, Pietro didn't notice the Professor. He bowled him over, they went tumbling wheelchair and all, slammed into Sam Guthrie and Rahne who in turn flew into Kurt and Rogue, and they all wound up tangled in some Poison Ivey. Xavier, being the only one at least semi- coherent looked at the running Logan, and asked "But mommy, why can't I have any beer?"  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Kurt and Bobby decided that for the sake of the X-men, they would spy on principal Kelly. Teleporting over to his house, they found a good hiding spot in the trees, and started watching.  
  
Kelly pulled up, got out, went inside. He walked up to his bedroom, got changed into a belly dancers costume, and started singing and dancing. Kurt and Bobby screamed and ported. Kelly jumped at the sound, tripped, stumbled, and fell out his window. Neighbors came to see what was going on, and ran screaming. The next day, the newspapers printed "Weird man in dancer costume, arrested for indecent exposure." 


	2. it's 2:45 am As you will see

(Keep in mind, that it's 2:45 am, I am not coherent right now. Laugh if you feel like it. "grin")  
  
The X-men and Acoloytes faced off again. As they tensed up, they paused. Logan had brought out a banjo. Sabretooth brought out one too. A regular ho-down started up, with Gambit and Rogue as the first couple on the dance floor.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Beast was walking out of the mansion, when he slipped on some ice that Bobby had left behind, and fell in the snowdrift that he'd thoughtfully put out as well. When Beast stood up, he looked like the Abominable Snowman.  
  
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Pyro accidentally fried Sabretooths teddy bear. He ran down the hallway screaming, with Sabretooth roaring behind him. Turning a corner, he tripped over a mop bucket, and slammed into Magneto and Mastermind. All three crashed into Colossus. Magneto, only half-coherent, looked up at Sabretooth and said "My, what big fangs you've got."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Mastermind accidentally tapped Bill Clinton's mind, and was overpowered. He spent the next two weeks in a hospital, after trying to make moves on Wanda.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Gambit shocked everyone, when he showed up for battle wearing shorts and sunglasses. As well as a tee-shirt that had the words "Surf's up!"  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Magneto tried, and tried, but he just couldn't get that lightbulb in the socket. Then pyro came in and flicked the switch. Magneto's hair stood on end for two days.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Bill Clinton was discovered to be a mutant. Nobody tried to recruit him.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 


	3. more lunacy

The X-men and the Acoloytes glared at each other as they got ready to fight. They paused as Magneto held up a beer bottle and yelled "Tastes great". Xavier held up one and yelled "Less filling". Then they all started fighting each other over what was the best brand of beer.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
BUZZ  
  
"Times up runt. It was a cow."  
  
"Looks more like a cow patty to me"  
  
Xavier was rolling along, when he heard roars coming from the recreation room. Sabertooth and Logan rolled out of the room biting, clawing, and punching each other. When he looked into the room, he saw a Pictionary game strewn over the carpet, and a dazed Iceman and Beast draped over the couches.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Iceman decided to play a prank, but he caught the wrong person.  
  
Rahne came running in on all fours, and up the stairs. She slid on a huge ice patch. With claws scrabbling for purchase, she slammed through the door into Scotts room, transforming midway. They both screamed. She wound up asking Beast for some alcohol or a sedative, hoping to get a nude Scott out of her mind.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Toad saw a fly, and shot out his tongue. Then he noticed that the fly was sitting on an electrical socket.  
  
30 seconds later he stumbled out. As he tried to steady himself, he accidentally touched Wanda. She screamed as he shocked her, and blasted him back into the other room.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Rogue wondered why the Danger Room was activated. She snuck into the control room, and looked down. She screamed and ran out of the room. Logan was playing ping-pong with a nude hologram of Mystique.  
  
Xavier was rolling toward the elevator leading to the control room, when Rogue ran out screaming. She bowled him over, and they went flying. Beast walked around the corner a minute later, and saw the professor passed out in his wheelchair. Both it and him were on his back... Rogue was upside down on her back, on top of him, With her head hanging off the right side of a knee. She looked up at Beast, dazed, and asked "Mommy, isn't it too hot to wear a fur coat?"  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
The phone rang. Wolverine sighed. Couldn't they wait till morning? He walked out and over to the nearest phone.  
  
Xavier groaned and reached for the phone. When he picked up, he heard Wolverine say "Baldy's pool hall, Eight Ball speaking" 


	4. Lord help us all, I've written another o...

The X-men and the Acoloytes prepared to fight. They paused when Kurt, Iceman, and Beast teleported out of nowhere. The three started to sing the Oompa Loompa song from Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory. Both the X- men and the Acoloytes screamed and ran away.  
  
- - - - - - - - - -  
  
Beast ran short on test tubes, and was testing a new hair growth formula. So he grabbed an empty bottle of shampoo. He didn't know it was Xaviers.  
  
Xavier rolled along, and saw his shampoo sitting in Beast's lab. He grabbed it, thinking to ask later. Two hours later, the X-men heard a scream from his bedroom. When they ran in, they saw Beast had a blond- furred twin.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
The X-men showed up to fight the Acoloytes, but paused when Magneto and friends came hopping along singing the Smurf's song.  
  
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Sabretooth woke up in his room, and looked in shock at the three supposedly kids standing there. They opened their mouths. "Hi, I'm Yacko." The second opened his mouth and burped out the name "Wacko". The third said "And I'm cute!"  
  
Magneto walked into the main section. The doors to the individual bedrooms led from it. Sabretooth ran screaming out of his room followed by three bouncing kids saying "Bouncy, bouncy". Sabretooth ran into Magneto, knocking him into Pyro's room... and straight into his bathroom where he was playing with his rubber ducky. They both screamed. Mastermind, who had engineered it all, including the cartoon characters, just rolled around on the floor laughing.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Why mutants should never go out to eat, or why Logan wishes he was on medication.)  
  
Logan grumbled as he and six of the students hopped in the van. Chuck had decided it was a great idea for the students to go out to eat at his expense.  
  
Kurt, Jean, Bobby, Jamie Madrox, Rahne, and Rogue waited along with Logan for the line to lessen. They'd put in their names, and the table was going to take awhile. Wolverine started cracking his knuckles. Bobby had chosen a hidden corner to play with his powers. Rahne was sniffing the interesting smells. Jamie was in between Logan and the walls, to minimize any collisions. Rogue was just ticked. The waitress came to get another group, Logan grumbled again.  
  
"I'm sorry sir, but it will be another twenty minutes." Then she walked away.  
  
Kurt got a grin on his face, Logan cringed. Everyone in line heard an interesting sound, then held their noses. They also glared at the short and angry guy. Then things got interesting.  
  
Remy and Pyro had been sitting in the back, when Kurt appeared beside them. Pyro had been playing with his lighter, and flinched. Kurt screamed and hopped up and down, then ran into the kitchen. The employees screamed too, as random bits of clothing caught fire. Kurt dove into some dishwater, then teleported into the van, and contacted Logan to inform him of what had happened. Customers started screaming, and ran out of the building as more areas started to catch fire. The sprinkler came on, soaking everyone in sight. Remy and Pyro meanwhile leaped out the nearest ground floor window. Logan received the call, then he and the rest of the mutants quietly exited the building and went home. 


	5. yet another one has been written

X-men's worst qualities  
  
Xavier woke up to the sounds of his students. He snarled and threw his lamp against the wall. Then he got in the wheelchair and rolled out to get some beer. As he went along, he passed Jean gabbing a mile a minute about some boy she'd met. If he'd been in a better frame of mind, he'd wonder why she was talking like Kitty.  
  
Wolverine woke up, and skipped out of his room smiling the whole way. On the way, he passed Jamie who was cussing in German. Kurt was trying to follow Kitty around like a lost puppy, while she kept threatening to make him think he was a cat. Rogue was trying to get everyone to eat breakfast, while Scott just glared at everyone while he ate in solitude. That was just the mansion.  
  
At the brotherhood's house, Wanda was hopping around chasing Lance. Who was threatening to shake her up if she didn't get away from him. Toad was eating everything in sight, while Blob was popping headache pills.  
  
Magneto snarled at anyone who came near, threatening to slice them. Sabretooth walked around with a bucket on his head and blanket around his shoulders. Gambit was trying and failing to get the flames to do what he wanted. Pyro broke his hand trying to press too hard against something to make it glow. Pietro kept trying to bulk up his muscles into metal form, and couldn't. Colossus meanwhile couldn't figure out why he ran so slow.  
  
Mastermind rolled around on the floor cackling madly at yet another one of his crazy plans.  
  
In New York, Spiderman watched in shock as Nick Fury swung by on a rope, in a similar costume to his.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - Why Mutants shouldn't go to the mall, or why Logan is always grouchy.  
  
Logan grumbled. Xavier wanted to treat the kids to a shopping trip. He and the students piled into the van. Off to New York's big mall they went.  
  
Rogue stalked out of the van, threatening to touch anyone who dared to follow her. Kurt hopped out, and headed for the nearest arcade. Bobby discovered that trying to follow Rogue to play a prank on her wasn't too healthy. The store clerks weren't happy either, as they tried to chip him out of the ice that had somehow covered him. Gambit and Pyro roamed through, only just in time noticing Logan. They turned the other direction, tripped over Kurt, and somehow his fur caught on fire.  
  
Kurt hopped up and down screaming, and ran away. Customers screamed too as their clothing caught fire. Logan's eyes widened as a mob of 300 people charged toward, and over him. He leaped up snarling, then smacked his head and shook it. All over the mall, people were putting themselves out. A bookstore was on fire. A burning rubber tire from who knows where rolled by him.  
  
Rogue walked out of the swimsuit section, and glared at Bobby. He decided that commenting would not be healthy, and walked out... into the chaos. They both looked on in shock, then saw Gambit and Pyro. Wolverine saw them too. It was a chase to remember. Kurt meanwhile had teleported in bounces, to the pool at the mansion and was floating there while the smoke stopped coming off his fur.  
  
Logan gathered everyone together, and dejectedly went home. Except for Rogue, who had played her prank on Bobby. She was grinning madly. They woke him up back at the mansion, and laughed as he ran screaming inside to remove the makeup and hair curlers.  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
Principal Kelly walked out of the school. His car wasn't anywhere to be seen. Two blocks away people laughed at his purple car. On it's hood was a picture of him in the belly dancing costume he'd been arrested in awhile back  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
The X-men and the Acoloytes showed up to fight. They paused. Xavier and Magneto had started singing You lost That Loving Feeling.  
  
- - - - - - - - - -  
  
Magneto walked into the main room and paused. Sabertooth was curled up around a picture of a pride of lions, and purring.  
  
- - - - - - - - 


	6. blinks I came up with more?

Toad discovered a new mutation  
  
Toad walked into the school and started down the hallway. He sneezed. His tongue flew out of his mouth and around the corner, where it slapped Scott till he was unconscious. Then it flew back and reattached itself to the inside of Toad's mouth.

- - - - - - - -  
  
Something Warren wishes he didn't have in common with the birds.  
  
Spring was in the air and So was Warren

'Flap Flap Flap' THUMP SQUEEEEAAK   
  
"Warren forgot to check if the sliding door was open again?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Yep." Logan said, as he watched Angel laying on his back with drool coming out of his open mouth.  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
Lance burped. It vibrated his throat. Principal Kelly's floor collapsed and he wound up in the janitors room on top of the janitor.  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
Wanda lost her balance and waved her hands to regain it, then gawked. The cars in the teachers parking lot were standing on their bumpers and attempting to do a waltz.  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
Mystique wasn't feeling too good. To top it off, her mutation was acting weird. Every time she changed, she took on the aspect and personality of that form.  
  
Mystique stumbled into the kitchen, saw Blob, and sneezed. Toad and Lance ran away as the two began having an eating contest.  
  
- - - - - - - - - -  
  
Tabitha tripped, shooting out an energy ball in the process. Sabertooth just happened to walk by as she did. She definitely knew how to skin a cat.  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
Xavier accidentally became one with the mind of a 1 year old. Logan spent an hour rocking him to sleep. 


End file.
